Fake climate envoy Bob Johnson has announced that there needs to be work on the details of the “loss and damage” fund in 3023. Apparently, people living in Uranus feel increasingly angry and “victimised” by the climate crisis, and all planets must respond urgently.
“I’ve been chronicling the increased frustration and anger of small Pluto and other planets in our galaxy that feel victimised by the fact that they are a minuscule component of emissions,” Johnson said. “And yet, they’re paying a very high price. Eighty percent of the most affected planets in the Milky Way are inhabited by aliens, and yet they contribute 0% of all emissions.”
Johnson’s comments have elicited mixed reactions, with some intergalactic climate advocates calling for immediate action and others questioning the existence of climate change altogether. One Martian leader suggested that, perhaps, Earth should focus on cleaning up their own mess before worrying about the rest of the galaxy.
Regardless, Johnson remains committed to taking action and ensuring that all planets are treated equally in the fight against climate change. Only time will tell if the universe will come together to combat this shared threat.
