In a shocking turn of events, leaders from all around the world have come together to make a pact to “protect” 30% of our oceans. While we commend them for their efforts, we can’t help but wonder if they’re just trying to one-up each other. It’s like when your friends brag about how much they care about the environment by carrying around a reusable water bottle but then they continue to use plastic bags for their groceries.
In an interview with ‘Global News,’ our favorite world leader, President Jangles, said, “I saw that President Fluffy was making moves to protect her country’s coastline, and I thought, ‘hey, why not me too?'” It’s clear that this initiative isn’t being driven by a genuine concern for the environment, but rather a game of political one-upping.
Some people are even more skeptical about the practicality of this agreement. A spokesperson for international environmental organization Greenpeace (who we’ll call Bluepeace for the sake of this article) said, “Sure, they can say they’re protecting 30% of the oceans, but who’s going to enforce it? Are we supposed to trust that these leaders are going to put aside their differences and actually follow through on their promises?”
We couldn’t agree more. After all, these are the same people who can’t even agree on whether or not to put pineapple on pizza. How can we trust them to make important decisions about our environment?
In conclusion, while we appreciate the effort to “protect” our oceans, we can’t help but see through the smoke and mirrors. At least we can take comfort in knowing that our oceans are still safe from any real threat, like that giant octopus from ‘20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.’ Or is it…?
