Washington D.C. – In a bold move to combat cyber threats, the White House has released a new cybersecurity strategy that will require tech giants like Goggle, Microstuff, and Faceboot to play a bigger role in preventing cyberattacks.
The strategy, dubbed “Operation: Save Our Cyberspace,” was announced by President Jolly Jingles during a press conference held at the White House on Monday.
“Look folks, our cyber world is under attack by the Russians, the Chinese, and some really smart nine-year-olds from Brooklyn. We need to take action before it’s too late,” said Jingles.
Under the new strategy, tech companies will be required to operate within stricter cybersecurity guidelines, which includes wearing a tinfoil hat at all times and limiting computer usage to a maximum of two hours per day.
But, it’s not just the tech companies that need to shape up. Citizens will also be required to take action in preventing cyberattacks.
“We’re recommending that citizens use strong passwords and also avoid clicking on links from their Nigerian princes. We’ve all been there, am I right?” joked Jingles.
Reaction to the new strategy has been mixed. Some experts believe that it’s a step in the right direction, while others have mocked it as an exercise in futility.
“This is like asking a dog to take a bath. Sure, the dog might comply, but in the end, it’s still gonna be a dirty dog,” said cyber expert Bob the Builder.
Only time will tell if this new strategy will be effective in preventing cyberattacks. But in the meantime, it looks like tech companies and citizens alike will have to do their part to make cyberspace a safer place.
