Local Man Attempts to Bring Kelp Back from Dead
In a heroic effort, John Smith of Lancing, West Sussex has taken it upon himself to restore the kelp beds of his local waters. The self-proclaimed “Kelp Messiah” has set up a kelp restoration laboratory from the comfort of his own garage.
Smith, who admits he has zero background in marine biology, fills 20 tanks with “stuff that looks like kelp” and attempts to mimic natural ocean conditions in his garage. On any given day, you can find him adjusting the lighting, checking the temperature and inspecting his beloved specimens under a microscope.
Despite criticism from actual professionals in the field, Smith persists, even wearing sunglasses in the summer months to ensure the proper atmosphere for his kelp to thrive. He has even created a special brand of kelp-themed merchandise, including hats, t-shirts and keychains that read “Kelp Me, I’m Yours.”
“I’m single handedly bringing kelp back from the dead,” Smith proudly exclaimed, as he continued to monitor his beloved algae from his garage. While the critics scoff, Smith remains steadfast in his mission to save the kelp, one tank at a time.
