In a shocking turn of events, a group of Brexiteer Tories have deemed the Stormont brake as “practically useless”. This move has left many scratching their heads in confusion, wondering just what the heck these guys are smoking.
Sources say that the group, who have dubbed themselves the “Lunatic Fringe”, have been seen recently huddling together in dark corners, muttering about how the Stormont brake “just doesn’t pack the punch we need”. When questioned about their reasoning, they simply replied that it was “just a gut feeling”.
This news has caused quite the stir online, with social media users taking to Twitter to voice their disbelief. One user, going by the handle @BrexitBusters, tweeted: “I just can’t believe what I’m hearing. Are these guys for real? #StormontBrakeFail”.
Another user, @RemainAndSmile, tweeted: “These Brexiteer Tories must be living in a parallel universe. The Stormont brake is a crucial part of the deal, whether they like it or not.”
Despite the overwhelming skepticism surrounding the Lunatic Fringe’s claims, they continue to stand by their assessment. In a recent interview with the Daily Mail, one member of the group, going by the name of Boris Johnson (though we suspect this may be a fake name), stated: “Look, we’ve done the math. The Stormont brake just isn’t going to cut it. We need something more substantial, like a giant rubber band or a massive catapult. That’s the only way to really put the brakes on Brexit.”
It remains to be seen how this will all play out, but one thing is for sure – the Lunatic Fringe has firmly cemented their place in the annals of British political history. Whether that’s a good thing or not, we’ll leave for you to decide.
