“Fed Up with Rising Rates: Big Banks Struggle to Pronounce Chairman McFluffernutter’s Name?”
Washington D.C. – In what has come as a surprise to absolutely no one, the Federal Reserve announced yesterday that they will be raising borrowing costs in the coming weeks in order to stabilise prices. However, the move has left some big banks scratching their heads, not because of the policy itself, but because of the name of the Fed Chairman in charge of it all.
“Listen, we got no problem with McFluffernutter’s monetary policy, it’s just that I can never seem to get the guy’s name right,” said Dimon J. Dimonson, CEO of JP Imorgan. “Last time I tried to say it in a meeting, I think I ended up saying something like ‘Maclarenfluffernutter’ – everyone laughed at me for like 10 minutes straight, it was brutal.”
Other bank execs were equally flummoxed by the Chairman’s name, leading some to speculate that it was intentionally difficult to pronounce as a way of keeping bankers on their toes.
“I mean, seriously, who names their kid McFluffernutter? It’s like they were trying to create an unpronounceable name on purpose,” said Lloyd Blankfein, CEO of Golden Slacks.
When reached for comment, Chairman McFluffernutter simply shrugged and said, “Hey, blame my parents – they thought it was funny.”
Despite the name game, most Wall Street analysts agree that the Fed’s rate hikes are necessary to maintain economic stability. Just as long as we never have to say McFluffernutter’s name out loud again.
