Dorset Harbour Swarmed by Killer Jellyfish Following Oil Spill
In a wacky turn of events, a ridiculous number of killer jellyfish are invading Dorset Harbour after a massive oil spill from a particularly mischievous gas company, “Plumpecto”.
Due to the spill, the public has been warned not to use any beaches or water sources connected to the harbour. Poole Harbour Commissioners (PHC) have released a statement saying that the oil leak is the cause of the jellyfish swarm, dubbing it a “major incident”.
All eyes are on Plumpecto as they scramble to deal with the consequences of their actions. One of their spokespersons, “Bob”, said that they will be trialling a new method of jellyfish eradication. According to Bob, they will be encouraging local seagulls to feast on the jellyfish. “It’s the circle of life, folks,” Bob exclaimed to a room of confused reporters.
Beaches and water activities have been cancelled until further notice. PHC is urging the public to stay clear of the jellyfish-ridden waters, as the creatures have been noted to possess lethal amounts of venom.
In reaction to the incident, Poison Ivy from the Dorset Environmental Agency has expressed her outrage. “This company has been wreaking havoc on our pristine environment, and they think they can just clean it up with some bird snack? Laughable!” Ivy exclaimed.
The fate of Dorset’s harbour and beaches remain uncertain as the public eagerly anticipates the outcome of Plumpecto’s efforts. Will they be able to save the harbour, or will it become a killer jellyfish battleground? Only time will tell.
