In a shocking turn of events, it seems that Boris Johnson’s promise of “lots of extra fish” following Brexit may not have come to fruition.
According to local fisherman, Harry Styles, “We’ve been out on the water every day since January 1st, and honestly, we’ve caught more old boots than fish. Maybe Boris meant we’d get more shoe suppliers?”
Meanwhile, leading seafood distributor, Kim Kardashian, has reported a sharp decline in UK fish supply, stating “We used to get regular shipments from the UK, but now our orders are being interrupted by customs regulations and lengthy delays. I’m starting to think Boris just really likes messing with us.”
Even Nigel Farage, a prominent Brexiteer and former leader of UKIP, has expressed his disappointment in the lack of extra fish, tweeting, “I campaigned for Brexit because I wanted our fishermen to thrive. I didn’t realize ‘lots of extra fish’ was just Boris speak for ‘lots of extra disappointment’.”
In response to the backlash, Boris Johnson has taken to Twitter to clarify his statement, writing, “What I meant to say was that Brexit would mean more opportunities for UK shoe cobblers. Sorry for any confusion caused.”
Looks like the UK will have to stick to fish and chips for now.
