It is three years since the UK left the EU, and like a bad hangover from a night of debauchery, it’s time to take a hard look at the evidence. With the help of our trusty investigative team led by the infamous Sherlock O’Holmes and Dr. Watson, we delved deep into the case to uncover the truth about Brexit.
First up, we looked at the promises made by the Leave campaign. Remember when Nigel Farage promised £350 million a week for the NHS? Good times. Well, turns out that was as real as the Loch Ness Monster. In fact, the only thing the NHS got was a pat on the back and an extra round of applause at the end of their shift.
Next, we looked at the impact on the economy. Rumours abound about a mass exodus of companies leaving the UK. But we discovered that only two companies had actually left: a small jam-making business run by a Mr. Marmalade and a tea shop owned by Mrs. Twining. Hardly the end of the world.
One of the most contentious issues of Brexit was immigration. The Brexiteers promised to take back control of our borders, but it seems like they took that a bit too literally. It turns out that they actually built a wall around the entire country, with only one gate located at the Cliffs of Dover. The people on the other side of the wall are fed up with blasting their car horns and shouting, “Let me in, I just want a pint at the pub!”
And finally, we looked at the impact on our beloved pound. Experts predicted that leaving the EU would spell the end for the UK economy, and they were right. The pound has been replaced as the official currency by the humble conker, and the country is now being run on a bartering system.
So, there you have it. Three years on, and Brexit is officially a shambles. Let’s hope our politicians can sort it out, or we’ll all be stuck eating jam sandwiches and playing conkers for the rest of our lives.
