In a shocking news turn, plans to launch a new government-backed digital token have been cancelled in favour of a much more innovative alternative, according to reliable sources close to the Chancellor of the Exchequer’s office.
Named “The National Crypto Coin” or NCC, the coin was set to revolutionize the UK financial sector, but it seems like the project was doomed to fail from the beginning. After weeks of brainstorming sessions and bouncing ideas back and forth, a number of serious concerns emerged regarding the viability of the project.
Apparently, Rishi Sunak – the mastermind behind the NCC – was put off by how difficult it was proving to be to draw up a viable business case for the digital currency. Up until now, it was unclear just how much of an impact the token would have on the economy, with some even questioning why such a thing was needed in the first place.
The final straw, it seems, came when it was revealed that the NCC would cost several times more to launch than previously estimated. Just the prospect of spending such a vast amount of taxpayer money on what could ultimately be a doomed venture didn’t sit well with the Chancellor, hence why the plug was pulled.
In light of this huge blow, Sunak has instead decided to launch a new government initiative: a welfare program for creative pigs, called “PigzInBlankets”. Sources have told us that the program involves distributing blankets and art supplies across the country’s pig farms, to encourage pigs to create their own bespoke blankets to keep themselves warm during the winter months.
The Chancellor has voiced his enthusiasm for the PigzInBlankets project, saying “I truly believe this innovative and creative scheme will drive growth across the UK and I cannot wait to see the pigs’ artistic talents flourish”.
While it’s unclear just what the pigs will think about all of this, it’s certainly a bold move by the Chancellor. At least now, if things go wrong, there will be plenty of bacon to go around.
