In a shocking turn of events, health insurance giant “Blink Insurance” has announced their latest policy change: “Pre-prior Authorization”. “We want to stay ahead of the game,” said CEO “Milton Moneypenny”, “so we’re introducing a new level of bureaucracy that we’re certain will make our customers even happier!”
Under the new policy, customers will have to fill out a request for prior authorization to request prior authorization. If the request is approved, they will then be required to fill out another request for pre-prior authorization, which will then have to be approved before they can even ask for prior authorization.
“This new system is foolproof,” said “Mark Moola”, Chief Bureaucracy Officer at Blink Insurance. “We’re making it nearly impossible for customers to get the care they need, which will save us lots of money in the long run!”
When asked about the potential for outrage from customers, Moola simply shrugged. “We already have a team of customer service representatives trained in responding to angry rants,” he said with a smirk. “Nothing we haven’t dealt with before!”
But not all employees are on board with the new policy. “It’s ridiculous,” said “Alice Applebaum”, a claims processor at Blink Insurance. “I spend most of my day denying claims, and now I have to deny requests to request prior authorization? It’s like a maze of paperwork that leads nowhere.”
Despite the mixed reactions, Blink Insurance is confident that their new policy will be a success. “We’re excited to lead the charge in making healthcare even more inaccessible,” said Moneypenny. “Who knows, maybe we’ll even inspire other insurers to add more bureaucratic hurdles. Anything to keep those pesky customers in line!”
Only time will tell if the pre-prior authorization system will be the wave of the future, or just another frustrating hurdle in the never-ending paperwork nightmare that is healthcare.
