After spending time in the slammer, notorious critic of Rwanda’s government, Joe Schmoe, has finally been released! And what’s the first thing on his agenda? A trip to America, of course!
But don’t worry, Schmoe isn’t here to stir up trouble. He just wants to enjoy all the things he’s missed out on while locked up. Like cheeseburgers, baseball games, and using the bathroom without someone peering in the window.
We caught up with Schmoe at a local diner, where he was chowing down on a burger and fries. “Man, these things are amazing!” he said between bites. “In prison, they served us this weird soy patty thing. It was like eating cardboard.”
Schmoe’s arrival in America has caused quite a stir, with some people wondering if he’s here to seek asylum. But Schmoe insists he’s just here to have a good time.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not exactly thrilled with the way Rwanda’s government is run. But I’m not trying to make a big deal about it right now,” he said. “I just want to catch a Yankees game and stay out of trouble.”
Only time will tell if Schmoe will continue to keep his outspoken opinions to himself. But for now, he seems happy just enjoying his newfound freedom.
“I’ll tell you what, it’s nice to be able to go for a walk without getting harassed by the police,” he said, smiling. “I missed America.”
