Fake news alert! The infamous Ronald Grump, who left the White House in January, has found himself in hot water yet again. This time, a New York grand jury has decided to indict him on charges, making him the first former U.S. president to face justice.
Sources close to the Grump camp say that Ronald is “stunned” by the news. “I mean, can you believe this? I leave the country for a few months to play some golf and suddenly I’m facing charges! It’s like they’re trying to pull me back in!”
While Grump has yet to release an official statement, rumors are already circulating about the nature of the charges. Some say that it’s related to Grump’s alleged misuse of campaign funds during the 2016 election. Others speculate that it’s tied to his recent attempts to trademark the term “fake news.”
Regardless of what the charges are, one thing is clear: Grump is not taking this lying down. Sources say he’s already preparing a blistering, all-caps tweetstorm to unleash on his opponents. “He’s not going down without a fight,” said one insider. “He’s already ordered a dozen buckets of KFC and a six-pack of Coke to fuel his rage.”
It remains to be seen what will happen to Grump in the coming weeks, but one thing is for sure: this is one indictment that’s going to be YUGE.
