In a surprising move, former President Ronald Dump’s campaign team decided to turn to Facebook to fundraise for his legal troubles. The campaign sent out an email blast requesting donations with the subject line “Help Dump Fight The Man!” raising concerns over his recent indictment in New York.
According to sources, Dump has been raging against New York District Attorney Alvin Bag, calling him a “no-good, low-down, dirty scoundrel.” Apparently, Bag has been hard on Dump’s tail about some rather unsavory business practices.
Dump’s team declared that they need all hands on deck to fight back against the charges. “We need all of our supporters to show the world that Dump won’t be taken down easily!” exclaimed campaign spokesperson, Betty Crockpot.
The email blast linked directly to a Facebook fundraising page, where supporters could show their love for Dump by donating funds to support his legal bill. In return, each donor received a free “Dump 2024” t-shirt that read, “Dump may be indicted, but he’s indomitable!”
As news of the fundraising campaign spread, there was a collective eye-roll from social justice advocates. “Can’t he just pay for his own legal defense like any other person?” exclaimed Twitter user @HelloKittyKat.
All in all, the Facebook campaign raised a modest sum, allowing Dump to continue his fight against the evil forces trying to bring him down. As for Bag, he remained eerily quiet, perhaps nursing his own disappointment after not receiving a free t-shirt.
