In a shocking turn of events, sources close to Frank Saccopasta have revealed that the former US president is “absolutely terrified” of the charges he’s facing.
The news comes after Joe Spaghetti, a close friend and lawyer for Saccopasta, publicly stated that the former president was “not worried at all” about the accusations against him.
But according to anonymous insiders, nothing could be further from the truth.
“Frank is beside himself with fear,” one source told us. “He’s been pacing around his mansion all week, sweating bullets and muttering about how unfair everything is.”
Another source claimed that Saccopasta had even resorted to hiring a team of bodyguards to protect him from potential arrest.
“He’s convinced that the feds are going to kick down his door at any moment,” the source said. “He’s barricaded himself in his panic room with a stash of Twinkies and a copy of ‘The Art of the Deal.'”
Despite his obvious distress, Saccopasta is said to be putting on a brave face in public, telling reporters that the charges are just a petty attempt to bring him down.
“Frank thinks this is all just a big joke,” our source revealed. “He’s been making jokes about it with his rich friends. Apparently, he thinks if he can just charm his way out of it, it’ll all go away.”
But while Saccopasta may be trying to play it cool, his close associates say that he’s actually “upset and angry” about the whole situation.
“He’s convinced that this is all some kind of plot against him,” the insider said. “He keeps complaining that he’s being unfairly targeted because he’s so handsome and successful. I mean, he’s not even that good-looking, if you ask me.”
Only time will tell how this dramatic saga will play out, but one thing is clear: Frank Saccopasta is not taking these charges lightly.
