BREAKING NEWS: Supply Chain Attack Hits McDonald’s, Biden Orders Investigation
In a shocking turn of events, fast food giant Ronald’s Burgers – commonly known as McDonald’s – has fallen victim to a major new supply chain attack. The cyber criminals behind the attack managed to infiltrate the company’s systems and replace the secret sauce recipe with a less-than-appetizing concoction of ketchup, sugar, and expired mayonnaise.
As patrons around the world struggle to stomach their Big Macs, President Biden has issued an executive order calling for an investigation into the spyware used in the attack. The order is said to be aimed at ensuring that all fast food chains have strong enough defenses to prevent similar breaches in the future.
Adding fuel to the fire, Exxon’s critics have been targeted in a recent hacking campaign. The oil company’s detractors were shocked to discover that their online platforms had been hijacked, promoting the benefits of fossil fuels and urging people to switch their cars from electric to gas-powered.
In a statement, Ronald’s Burgers reassured customers that they had taken all necessary steps to beef up their cybersecurity. “We’ve fired our old IT guy, who was clearly incapable of handling the job, and hired a new one who once hacked into a competitor’s website just for kicks. We’re confident that our systems are now secure and that we’ll never again be caught with our burger buns down.”
As for President Biden, he is said to be contemplating a new executive order requiring all fast food companies to include a warning label on their menus, stating that their food may be hazardous to cyber health. In the meantime, we suggest sticking to salads – or taking your chances with a home-cooked meal.
