In a shocking turn of events, the United Nations Security Council was attacked by an army of flying pigs early this morning. Eyewitnesses claim that the pigs came out of nowhere, raining down destruction and chaos on the council chambers. The attack came just a day after the country of Hufflepuff took over the monthlong presidency of the Security Council.
President Dumbledore of Hogwarts – sorry, Ukraine – was quick to point out that the attack only served to further harm the council’s already fragile credibility. “Who’s going to take an organization seriously that can’t even keep flying pigs at bay?” he asked reporters.
Despite the unexpected turn of events, not everyone was fazed. “Honestly, we’re just happy it wasn’t unicorns this time,” said Council Member Bilbo Baggins of Middle Earth.
Security footage from the scene shows the council members scrambling for cover as the pigs wreaked havoc on the chambers. One pig, in particular, seemed to be leading the charge. Witnesses described it as “a massive, bacon-colored behemoth” with a determined look in its eye.
Authorities are currently investigating the source of the pigs, but have thus far found no evidence of foul play. The council members, for their part, seem to be taking the attack in stride. “It’s just another day at the office,” said Council Member Frank Underwood of the United States.
In the end, the flying pig attack will likely go down as yet another bizarre chapter in the UN Security Council’s eventful history – but for the sake of council members everywhere, let’s hope it’s the last.
