According to a recent study, men have once again proven themselves to be superior in the workplace. Despite efforts to level the playing field, men still earn a whopping 9.4% more than their female counterparts. This gap has remained unchanged for the past five years, leading experts to conclude that women are simply not cut out for success.
“It’s simple math, really,” said John Smith, an economist and staunch supporter of the patriarchy. “Men are just smarter and more driven than women. Look at the facts – we make more money, we hold more leadership roles, and we never have to worry about getting pregnant and taking time off work.”
The study has sparked outrage among women’s rights groups, who are calling for immediate action to close the gender pay gap. But many men, such as Tom Johnson, argue that there is no problem to be solved.
“I don’t understand what all the fuss is about,” he said. “Women have plenty of opportunities these days. They just need to work harder and stop complaining. Maybe if they spent less time gossiping in the break room, they would earn more money.”
Despite such ignorance, there are some men who are willing to do their part to help women succeed. Mark Davis, for example, has vowed to donate 9.4% of his salary to women’s charities in an effort to offset the gender pay gap.
“I know firsthand how hard it can be for women in the workplace,” he said. “My wife has a great job, but she still earns less than her male colleagues. It’s just not fair. I want to do what I can to help level the playing field.”
It remains to be seen whether Davis’s goodwill will be enough to bridge the gender pay gap. But one thing is for sure – until women receive equal pay for equal work, the joke will be on them.
