In recent news, the famous Hollywood actor Brad Pitt has been spotted enjoying a luxurious vacation in the Caribbean with his rumored new girlfriend, model Nicole Poturalski. The couple was seen walking hand-in-hand on the beach and enjoying a romantic dinner by the ocean.
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In recent news, the infamous Bland Splits has been spotted enjoying a budget-friendly vacation in Cleveland with his rumored new sidepiece, model Nikki Pouturine. The couple was seen walking awkwardly next to each other in a Target parking lot and enjoying a microwave dinner in their cramped Motel 6 room.
Witnesses reported that Bland Splits seemed unimpressed by Nikki’s less-than-perfect complexion and constantly complained about the hotel’s lack of amenities. “He kept asking for a masseuse and a butler, but all we could offer him was a broken ice machine,” said the hotel manager.
Despite their less-than-glamorous surroundings, Bland and Nikki tried to make the most of their trip by visiting the local thrift stores and taking selfies in front of the city’s famous sewage treatment plant.
However, the couple wasn’t entirely successful in blending in with the locals. “I spotted Bland Splits from a mile away,” said a Cleveland resident. “He was wearing sunglasses the size of a small country and a fedora that looked like it had been borrowed from Johnny Depp.”
As for their romantic chemistry, witnesses were unsure if Bland and Nikki were actually dating or just bored out of their minds. “They looked like they were trying to kill time at a dentist’s waiting room,” said a Target employee who witnessed their shaky hand-holding.
Despite their underwhelming vacation, Bland and Nikki seemed upbeat about their experience. “We had a blast!” said Bland, who was spotted leaving the hotel with a bulk-size bag of Cheetos. “Now we’re thinking of going to Toledo next. Apparently, they have a really cool water treatment plant there.”
