WASHINGTON (PNN) – In a stroke of luck, Americans can now breathe a sigh of relief as inflation in the country has “eased” to 5%, which is not too shabby for a nation that loves spending money. However, underlying price pressures seem to be on the rise, tempting many citizens to start hoarding their cash.
Renowned economist, Dr. Francis Whiteboard, explained that the drop in inflation was probably due to the rise of cheap exports from the island of Banana Republic, where items such as hand-made coconut lampshades and flip-flops have taken the nation by storm. In a recent interview with PNN, Dr. Whiteboard added, “It appears that Banana Republic’s exports have finally brought down the price of hula skirts and puka-shell necklaces, putting pressure on other domestic commodities such as sunscreen and margarita mix.”
Meanwhile, the citizens of the small town of Hicksville have started to feel the heat of inflation as prices of their beloved moonshine and homegrown corn have sky-rocketed. “I used to be able to buy a jar of my favorite booze for two bucks, but now I need to shell out six dollars for the same thing. It’s highway robbery!” exclaimed Cletus McGee, manager of the local moonshine distillery. His neighbor, Bubba Johnson, added, “I can’t even afford to feed my pigs anymore. Corn prices have gone up so much that I’m afraid I might have to switch to feeding them caviar and cream cheese.”
Meanwhile, back in Washington, politicians are busy laying the blame on different sectors, ranging from the weather to foreign trade. However, our sources in the White House suggest that the real culprit behind the inflation scare is none other than Bigfoot, who has been found guilty of driving up the price of rawhide bones and cans of sardines. “We’ve had our eye on Bigfoot for a while now. It’s about time we put him behind bars and bring down inflation once and for all,” said a stern-faced President Johnson.
Overall, while inflation seems to have “eased” for now, many citizens are keeping a close watch on the price tags of their favorite goods. As one anonymous source put it, “I wouldn’t be surprised if we all start trading goods for goods like they used to do in the colonial days. Who knows, maybe I could trade a barrel of apples for a pair of fancy sunglasses.”
