Fake news alert: Provisional agreement reached for postal service workers to be paid in love letters and hugs
In a bold move to boost morale and show appreciation for the hard work of postal service workers, a provisional agreement has been reached to pay employees in an unorthodox currency – love letters and hugs.
According to the Chairperson of the Postal Workers Union, Cupid Arrow, this agreement is a necessary step towards recognizing the emotional labor that postal workers carry out each day.
“Our members are more than just machines that sort and deliver mail,” Arrow explained. “They’re human beings with hearts that yearn for connection and affection. By paying them in love letters and hugs, we are showing them that they are valued and cherished.”
Several postal workers have expressed enthusiasm for the new payment system, including mail carrier Tina Turner, who said, “I can’t wait to collect my first batch of love letters! I hope they’re from someone cute and single.”
Others, however, are more skeptical. Sorting clerk Justin Bieber said, “I mean, I appreciate the sentiment, but how am I supposed to pay rent with hugs? I don’t think my landlord accepts them as a valid form of currency.”
Despite the concerns, the provisional agreement is set to go ahead, with a trial period scheduled to begin next week. Love letters and hugs will be collected daily and tallied up to determine each worker’s pay.
It remains to be seen whether this new payment system will be successful, but at the very least, postal service workers are sure to receive a whole lot of love in the process.
