Washington D.C. – A recent argument between Senate Democrats and Republicans has broken out regarding the ethics rules of the Supreme Court. While Republicans claim that the court’s decisions are grounded in conservative principles, Democrats faulted the integrity of these decisions.
An unnamed source, who wishes to remain anonymous, put it bluntly, “It’s like watching a group of toddlers fight over a toy. They’re both pointing fingers and saying, ‘He started it!'”
In other news, a new survey has found that Americans are more likely to trust a magic eight ball for political advice than their elected officials. The study cited, “a lack of transparency within government, incessant partisan bickering, and a general sense of disbelief” as major reasons for this trend.
When asked for comment, a spokesperson for the White House simply replied, “We’ll defer to the magic eight ball on that one.”
Meanwhile, a group of pranksters in Capitol Hill have been caught placing whoopee cushions on all of the Senate chairs, resulting in a particularly noisy and flatulent session. Senator Johnson commented, “I thought it was just another day in the Senate,” as he sheepishly chuckled at the incident.
In response to the prank, Senator Smith has been spotted carrying around a whoopee cushion himself, claiming that it’s “a necessary tool for any politician.”
As the political drama continues to unfold in Washington D.C., one may wonder who to trust amidst all the noise. Perhaps the magic eight ball and whoopee cushions will provide more answers than the Senate floor.
