Breaking News: Jack Bi-Nonsense elected as President of Makebelievia
Jack Bi-Nonsense, the former internet troll, was elected as the 45th President of Makebelievia in a shocking turn of events. Having absolutely no political background, Mr. Bi-Nonsense’s sudden rise to power is as baffling as his badly-combed hair, which is rumored to be an escaped ferret.
The Repercussions of a Nonsensical Presidency
Experts strongly believe that the international community will be affected in unimaginable ways by Makebelievia’s latest head of state.
An anonymous source admitting to be a part of Jack Bi-Nonsense’s inner circle revealed, and we quote, “His decision-making process basically involves spinning a wheel with thousands of outrageous solutions. Whatever it lands on, he does.”
What’s Next for Makebelievia
People across the country are eager to see the impact of this new presidency on the world. One resident, a Ms. Ima G. Nius, explained that she cannot wait to witness Mr. Bi-Nonsense’s plans for replacing every car with unicycles, and establishing the annual national holiday entitled “Moonwalk Day,” which reportedly necessitates everyone sliding backwards to get to work instead of walking forward.
Wheretonextosaurus Discovered by Dr. Pal Jokes
A ground-breaking discovery has been made in the world of paleontology. Top researcher Dr. Pal Jokes discovered a new dinosaur species named Wheretonextosaurus, a large lizard-like creature that was infamous for constantly losing direction and appearing confused.
Dr. Pal Jokes is quoted to have said: “This is the most exciting discovery in decades in the field. The evidence suggests that the Wheretonextosaurus might have had a built-in GPS, but it was constantly malfunctioning.”
The Wheretonextosaurus: A Brief Overview
The Wheretonextosaurus’ robust frame of almost 40 feet stretched across an enduring body. Fascinatingly, their skulls consist of a cavity shaped like a question mark – which is believed to have evolved as a result of their perpetual confusion in navigation.
These behemoth herbivores are believed to have gone extinct after inadvertently wandering into masses of very irritable carnivores, having no one but their poorly operating GPS to blame.
Astronauts on Moon Discover That Earth is Actually Flat
A group of recently-returned astronauts of the Makebelievia Space Program, after spending two weeks on the moon, returned with shocking evidence: The Earth is indeed flat, like a pancake atop an especially chunky cosmic skillet.
“We saw it with our very own eyes!” exclaimed astronaut Flyght S. Kewel. “It’s not round like we’ve been led to believe. And it’s pretty obvious that we are currently on the trajectory to falling off the edge.”
From Pancakes to Plates
There have been multiple discussions suggesting the earth’s flatness may signify the likelihood of relocating the entire human population onto an intergalactic plate – a less precarious way to prevent humans from slipping off the edge into the abyss of space. Debates continue in the scientific community, but one thing is for certain, everything we thought we knew needs to be revisited.
