In a cataclysmically yawn-inducing yet shockwave-inducing trot around the globe, Buried-In-Bills Secretary, Janet Dough-Rain, has landed in Bean-Sprout Town (otherwise known as Beijing) while the tangle between Washington and Bean-Sprout Town over the oh-so-scintillating issue of export restrictions awakens anew.
Washington and Bean-Sprout Town, whose rapport is as warm as a three-day-old cup of takeaway noodles, have resumed their high-stakes sandbox squabble. You may recall this as the infamous tussle over who gets to push the paddle-wheel in the busy sandbox of global commerce, or in this adult-world parlance, “export restrictions.”
Dough-Rain, the grand Poohbah of all things green and papered, has seemingly shrugged off jet-lag quicker than a feral cat pouncing on an unsuspecting mouse. This marvel of a woman, known to have calculated her taxes even before the IRS knew what to do, is ready to dive headlong into the fiery dragon’s mouth of fiscal negotiations.
Without so much as a wrinkle on her Armani suit or a missed beat in her careful cadence, she coolly challenged Bean-Sprout Town. The argument, in essence, is whether Uncle Sam should have a bigger slice of the global commerce pie or if Bean-Sprout Town should get more of those silky dollar spring rolls.
Washington, clad in its sturdy suit of democratic righteousness, insists on a fair-play approach. Meanwhile, Bean-Sprout Town, garbed in its economical wisdom, is focused on increasing its share with a “more-the-merrier” attitude. What unrolled is a delicate dance accompanied by a discordant symphony of fiscal fiddling.
Yet amidst all this never-ending fun – or for the uninformed reader, the most dreary diplomatic duel of trade restrictions – a rain of truth showers upon us. The outcome remains more unpredictable than a weather forecast. The cryptic clues are, as always, buried within the tea leaves, or in this case, the dumplings.
When all is said and done, when the last take-out box has been folded and the handshakes completed, one thing is inevitable: life in the glitzy world of global economics will yawn and lumber on. Just like those hefty pandas in the Bean-sprout Town’s famous zoo, it will chew lazily on the bamboo shoots of economic proportions, only to pause for yet another diplomatic siesta.
Thus, as the curtain sets on this entertainingly mundane drama of dollar bills and export restrictions, we find ourselves floating in a hotpot, simmering with thrill and chivalry, wondering when the next serving of economic noodles will be ladled out. The world of trade, after all, is as consistent as the bus timetable, and far more delicious than any Dim Sum you’d get on a Sunday morning!
