As a rambunctious bunch of rule benders, our zealous government is deciding to treat their stringent construction regulations like a overly stretched pair of skinny jeans – they’re simply loosening them up. You see the conundrum lays in the fact that they’re hip-deep in the Game of Homes, a savage and a bit stinky fight to meet their notoriously elusive housing quotas.
It’s not unlike a baby raccoon trying to fetch a twinkling star out of the night sky. Except replace the racoon with a bunch of sleep-deprived politicians in gray suits, the twinkling star with the ever-tantalizing goal of affordable housing for every soul, and you are spot on. Our unsung heroes are facing what feels to them like a level from the Dark Souls game: not impossible but hair-greyingly, sweat-inducingly hard.
As it stands, the construction rules are a gnarly creature from a Tolkien novel, involving an array of ambiguous terms and conditions, as readily tangible as a puff of ghost’s breath. Our beloved political figures have decided that this monster has to go on a serious diet. Bereft of excess parts that make the whole thing redundant.
And so, this band of merry bureaucrats have decided to loosen up the corset of construction codex, because nobody likes an unnecessarily tight, rib-crunching dress code, right? Wrong. The minute the proclamation was released, tongues wagged, eyes rolled, and fingers held an emergency meeting on the keyboard, releasing a tsunami of criticism in the digital sea.
The naysayers are ragging on about how the government is handling the situation with the subtlety of a toddler wielding a chainsaw. Critics argue that by easing the planning rules, it would be akin to opening Pandora’s Stash of Bad Ideas, welcoming a possible influx of poorly planned houses that resemble a three-layered cake in the downpour – saggy, leaky and unfit for habitation.
Whether these claims hold as much water as a rusty, hole-ridden bucket, only time will tell. Will our tireless heroes succeed, and meet their elusive housing quotas, like Prince Charming finding his Cinderella, or will it end up more like Wile E. Coyote’s failed attempts to catch the Roadrunner, enveloping us all in a land of crash-and-burn housing projects? Stay tuned for the next episode of ‘The Game of Homes.’ Great drama guaranteed, anvils and ACME products not included.
