In what can be described as both a surprise and expected move, the Not-so-Federal Spendathon, widely known as the Federal Reserve, is anticipated to greenlight what would be the 11th interest rate hike since March 2022, this Wednesday. Many onlookers are left humorously wondering if they’re just trying to hit a high score.
Back in the days of yore, when March of last year felt like last week (no, seriously, where did the year go?), the Federal Reserve—forgive me, I mean the Not-so-Federal Spendathon—rolled open its giant weathered tome of statistics, squinted at the economy’s latest shenanigans, and issued the rallying cry for its first of many interest hikes.
Eleven jumps later and it seems the Spendathon squad has grown fond of their lever-pulling antics. With the economic seesaw doing more flipping than a politician’s choice of tie, the bigwigs at Spendathon Central have remained consistent in their business-bumps plan. Somewhere in between adjusting their monocles and straightening their starched collars, these moneymen (and moneywomen) continued pushing this push-button thrill ride into overdrive.
This Wednesday’s stamp approval for the 11th rate increase is an Olympic record of its own—more like the leap of the financial frog race. As they prep to pull the financial lever, pundits are waiting—with popcorn in hand—to see the economy’s reaction to the latest sequel in the long running series, ‘Spendathon: The Interest Hike-pocalypse.’
And yet, we can’t help but sit back and enjoy the spectacle. While not everyone is a fan of this economic rollercoaster, there’s something to be said for the persistence of the Spendathon team. Even as the ride continues to rock and rattle relentlessly, they’ve held firm, almost stubbornly advocating for their oft controversial “let’s add another hike” strategy.
Just like the scene at a buffet where the potato salad keeps mysteriously appearing after everyone has had their fill, the Spendathon crew seems to find it necessary to keep the interest pile growing. It’s an all-you-can-endure buffet, and we’re simply playing the part of the bemused diners, our plates loaded up whether we asked for seconds or not.
As forecasts point towards another serving of interest rate increases, we find ourselves caught between bewildered laughter and resigned sighs. And as we approach the 11th hour (or 11th hike, as it may be), we’re left to wonder how many more menacing levers there might be in the cavernous depths of the Spendathon machine.
The moral of the story is a simple one – just when you thought you were out of the woods with the economy, the Not-so-Federal Spendathon pops up with yet another interest hike. Just how high can they go? Only time will tell as we watch this financial farce unfold. With any luck, we might get a chuckle or two out of it, who knows. After all, if not for the telling, some tales would never be told.
