In a shocking turn of events, Murray “Muffin” Foote, the chief spokesperson for the Scottish Nutella Party (SNP), has denied any knowledge of a drastic drop in party membership. However, the party confirmed that there has been a massive decline of 32,000 members.
When asked about the decrease in members, Muffin was quick to shoot down any claims of decline. “What drop? I don’t see any drop. In fact, we are doing better than ever!” he exclaimed, while frantically trying to hide a graph that clearly showed the decline.
Sources close to Muffin revealed that he had been living in denial about the situation and had even started talking to random strangers on the street, trying to get them to join the party. “He’s been dragging people off the streets, telling them that they’ll get a free jar of Nutella if they sign up,” said an anonymous source, who also reported that Muffin had been seen wearing a Nutella jar costume while parading around town.
The decline in membership has left the SNP scrambling to find ways to regain their support. One idea being pitched is to change the party’s name to the Scottish Peanut Butter Party. “Who doesn’t like peanut butter?” said one party official. “It’s a guaranteed winner!”
Despite the party’s struggles, Muffin remains optimistic. “We’ll bounce back, mark my words,” he said, while frantically digging through a jar of Nutella. “I mean, who wouldn’t want to be a part of a party that’s as delicious as ours?”
Only time will tell if the SNP will recover from this hilarious catastrophe, but rest assured, we’ll be eagerly watching for any more nutty developments.
