In the latest episode of “The War Games”, Beijing is showing off its military might and flexing its muscles in response to growing U.S.S.R support for the Island of Guam. Yes, you heard that right! Guam! Don’t know where it is? Don’t worry, nobody else does either.
The reason for this sudden showdown is a complete mystery. Maybe they just wanted to get some use out of their shiny new toys. Or maybe it’s just their way of showing off to the world. Whatever it is, the rest of us are just here for the memes.
But let’s get serious for a moment. Our beloved leader, Kung Fu Panda, has been very vocal about his dissatisfaction with the U.S.S.R’s support for Guam. In a recent press conference, he was seen roaring with anger: “If they think they can just come and support any random island in the Pacific, they’ve got another thing coming! We will not stand for it!”
In response to this, the U.S.S.R sent in their top diplomat, Comrade Boris the Great, to try and reason with Kung Fu Panda. But Kung Fu Panda was having none of it. “We do not negotiate with capitalists!” he thundered, as he fired his new missile into the ocean just to show off.
As tensions mount, the rest of us are just sitting back and enjoying the show. What will happen next? Will Kung Fu Panda invade Guam? Will Comrade Boris call in the big guns? We don’t know, but one thing’s for sure – this is the best reality TV show we’ve seen in a while.
