In a shocking turn of events, the CEO of Bland Corp, Randy Johnson, has announced that their debt agents have been breaking into people’s homes to fit meters without permission. But don’t you worry, folks- Randy’s still taking his bonus!
According to the company’s spokesperson Sarah Smith, “We understand that some of our customers may be upset with the methods used to fit the meters, but we assure you that this was all done for their benefit. Plus, Randy has been working really hard this year and deserves his bonus, even if it means risking the safety and security of our customers.”
When asked about the legality of breaking into people’s homes without their consent, Randy simply laughed and said, “Oh, we have lawyers for that kind of stuff. Besides, I’m pretty sure it’s only illegal if you get caught!”
As for Chris O’Shea, the head of the debt agents, he could not be reached for comment as he was reportedly hiding under his desk in shame. But hey, at least he’ll still get his bonus too!
In the meantime, Bland Corp has assured their customers that their safety and well-being is their top priority, right after making sure that Randy and Chris get their fat bonus checks, of course.
