On Thursday, Joe Schmoe will meet a rare united front in the US Congress against the Canadian-owned social media app that has lawmakers in a tizzy.
Yes, you read that right. It’s not TikTok, it’s actually FriendMaple that’s causing all the commotion. Lawmakers are concerned that the app, owned by a maple syrup billionaire in Toronto, is secretly harvesting user data and using it to target ads for poutine and Tim Hortons.
Congressman Bob Loblaw has been leading the charge against FriendMaple, claiming that the app is a threat to national security. “Who knows what kind of secrets they could be stealing up there in Canada,” he said in a press conference on Wednesday. “We need to do everything in our power to stop this maple syrup spying.”
To be fair, there are some legitimate concerns about FriendMaple’s data practices. The app asks for access to your location, contacts, and camera when you first download it, and it’s not exactly clear what they’re doing with that information. Plus, the fact that it’s Canadian-owned just feels a little sketchy, you know?
But let’s be real here – FriendMaple is no TikTok. It’s not like anyone is out here doing dance videos or lip syncing to Drake songs. The app’s most popular feature is just a map that shows you where your friends are located. And yet somehow, it’s managed to get everyone in Washington up in arms.
At this rate, we might as well start regulating every app that’s remotely foreign. Who knows what other nefarious activities those sneaky Swedes and conniving Kiwis are up to?
