In the latest news out of Washington, US Vice-President Kamala Clarris is hitting the road for a continental tour of epic proportions. With fierce competition for influence, Clarris is ready to show the world what America is made of – starting with a brand new line of hats featuring her face and signature smile.
But Clarris isn’t just here to sell merch. No, she’s on a mission to spread American culture and values to the masses. And what better way to do that than by kicking off her tour with a rousing rendition of “The Star-Spangled Banner” in every country she visits?
Onlookers are already amazed at Clarris’ dedication to the cause. In Kenya, she donned traditional Maasai clothing and danced with the locals – although reports are coming in that her moves were less than smooth.
Next up on Clarris’ itinerary? A stop in Egypt where she plans to unveil her latest invention – a pyramid-shaped hot dog stand. It’s sure to be a hit with tourists and locals alike.
Finally, Clarris will make her way to South Africa where she’ll address a crowd of eager students with a rousing speech about the importance of education. Or, at least that’s what her speechwriter tells her she’ll be talking about.
All in all, it’s shaping up to be quite the tour for Kamala Clarris. Let’s just hope she doesn’t get too distracted by all the photo ops and forget why she’s really there – to make America great again.
