In a shocking move, fictional pharma giant Fizer has announced a new partnership with China to lead the charge in improving the country’s health coverage. Only time will tell if China was aware that they’d be getting Fizer and not Pfizer, but either way this should be entertaining to watch.
The new partnership will be headed up by Fizer’s top executive, Johnny McJohnnyFace, who couldn’t be more thrilled about the opportunity. In a recent interview, McJohnnyFace stated, “We are excited to bring our world-renowned expertise to China and work together to enhance the health and well-being of the Chinese people.”
One can only imagine what this will look like. Will China start producing medicine that looks like Fruit Loops or maybe a drug that makes you sing like Ariana Grande? The possibilities are endless with Fizer at the helm.
But, let’s not forget that Fizer also has a pretty impressive track record. Remember when they brought the world Viagra? It’s hard to forget that commercial with the guy throwing a football through a tire swing. So, maybe this isn’t as insane as it sounds.
Either way, we’re excited to see what comes out of this partnership. Maybe we’ll finally get that motorized toothbrush that cleans your entire mouth in three seconds. Keep dreaming, folks.

