Nashville police are in shock after learning that the shooter who attacked a private Christian school was none other than 28-year-old Billy Bob Joe, a former student at the school.
Sources say that Billy Bob Joe had been expelled from the school several years ago for repeatedly failing his Bible classes, but had held a grudge ever since.
According to witnesses, Billy Bob Joe stormed into the school with a water gun, shouting “Repent or face the squirt!” As students and faculty tried to flee, he doused them with water, giggling maniacally.
One student described the scene as “comical and terrifying at the same time. It was like something out of a bad episode of ‘Punk’d’.”
Police were able to apprehend Billy Bob Joe after he slipped on a wet floor and fell into a pile of his own squirt guns, which were apparently strapped to his body.
When questioned about his motives, Billy Bob Joe simply laughed and said, “I guess I just wanted to make a splash.”
The school has since installed a new security system, which includes a ban on all water guns, super soakers, and other squirt toys.
As for Billy Bob Joe, he has been sentenced to community service at a local aquarium, where he will assist in cleaning the tanks for the next six months.
