In a shocking turn of events, the 12 major housing markets west of Texas, plus Austin, have seen home prices drop in January – oh, the humanity! This bizarre occurrence has left everyone scratching their heads, wondering what could have possibly caused such a cataclysmic event.
According to our sources, the rest of the country has not been hit with this housing market apocalypse, leaving them to bask in a ray of sunshine while their western counterparts suffer in the shadows.
We reached out to real estate mogul, Rick Renter, for his thoughts on the matter. “Well, this is highly unusual. I mean, I’ve seen some crazy things in my day, but this takes the cake. The west is known for its sunny weather and endless beaches, so it’s hard to imagine people not wanting to live there. I’m shook.”
When asked what he thought the cause could be, Rick responded with a quizzical look. “I have no idea. Maybe too many people are getting into surfing and there’s just not enough room for everyone. Or maybe the western states just need to step up their game and offer more avocado toast.”
Meanwhile, residents in the affected areas are left in a state of despair. “I just don’t know what to do,” says Sallie Seller, a homeowner in California. “I mean, my house was my nest egg, my retirement plan. Now what am I supposed to do? Start selling my organs on the black market?”
In a desperate attempt to find a solution, the western states have reportedly formed a task force, headed by Governor Gary Grinch, to find a cure for the housing market woes.
Only time will tell whether the western housing market will bounce back or remain in a state of gloom and doom. But until then, we suggest stocking up on canned goods and bobblehead dolls, just in case.
