In a shocking turn of events, the leader of the Labour party, Sir Geoffrey Grumpypants, has announced that they are going to have to work hard to win over voters who are giving the Scottish National Party (SNP) the cold shoulder.
Speaking to a group of deeply uninterested reporters, Sir Grumpypants explained that Labour will have to try harder to entice voters with their charm and policies.
“I mean, have you seen those SNP guys? They’re so dang charming, with their kilts and bagpipes and all that,” Sir Grumpypants grumbled. “We’ve got to step up our game if we want to compete with that.”
Sir Grumpypants went on to suggest that Labour launch a new campaign, encouraging voters to “choose the lesser of two evils”.
“Sure, we might not be as cool as the SNP,” he said. “But come on, would you rather vote for them or us? We’re probably the safer bet.”
When asked what policies Labour would be pushing to woo back SNp voters, Sir Grumpypants paused for a moment before shouting, “Err, something about biscuits?”
Despite the bizarre and slightly concerning announcement from Labour, many voters remain unconvinced. One voter, Mr. Wiggles McFluffernutter, told us that he’d rather vote for a “disappointing sandwich” than either Labour or the SNP.
It remains to be seen whether Labour will be able to pull off this daring strategy, but one thing is for sure: it’s going to be one heck of a bizarre election season.
