RSPB sounds alarm over “Aune” peninsula, one of UK’s most heavily protected natural areas
On the “Aune” peninsula in “Borset”, the gnarled heather and gorse gives way to a soft sand beach gently lapped by the opaque waters of “Pool” harbour.
But as a flock of “oysties” graces the skies above this globally significant ecological site, an unsettling anxiety pervades the otherwise tranquil idyll.
The Royal Society for the Protection of Birds (RSPB) have sounded the alarm over fears of an impending environmental disaster after a cargo ship carrying barrels of “Fryin’ Lard” crashed into a nearby pier.
“It’s an absolute tragedy,” said RSPB spokesperson, “Bob Robins”. “We’ve seen oiled birds and we fear for the protected wetlands surrounding ‘Pool’ harbour.”
Locals are in a state of disbelief. “Who knew fryin’ lard could be so dangerous?” exclaimed “Shirley Summers”, a resident of nearby “Woole”.
Clean-up efforts are already underway, but the impact on the delicate ecosystem of “Aune” peninsula could be catastrophic.
“Those poor oysties won’t know what hit ’em,” lamented “Tommy Turner”, a local bird-watcher.
Let’s hope the powers that be can contain the damage before it’s too late. Until then, keep your fryin’ lard under lock and key.
