Breaking News: Department of Abstract Storytelling Crumbles Under the Weight of Its Own Conceptualism
The Department of Abstract Storytelling, also known as DAS, had long prided themselves on their innovative techniques for telling stories in new and exciting ways. However, it appears that their innovative ideas may have been a little too abstract, as the department has recently crumbled under the weight of its own conceptualism.
The unit, once seen as developing a new form of storytelling, had about 50 employees. We spoke to one former employee, who wished to remain anonymous, about the downfall of DAS.
“It was a wild ride,” they said, “but ultimately, we were done in by our own success. We were telling stories in a way that had never been done before, and we were doing it so well that even we weren’t sure what we were talking about half the time.”
According to our source, DAS became so abstract that they were no longer telling coherent stories – just strings of words and phrases that sounded impressive but made absolutely no sense.
“We were like a bunch of college kids spouting off nonsense at a philosophy club meeting,” our source continued. “It was fun for a while, but then we realized that we were getting paid to do this, and we couldn’t justify it anymore.”
As of now, DAS has been disbanded, and its former employees are all scattering to various other departments, trying to find work where they can tell stories that people can actually understand. We wish them all the best of luck in their future endeavors, and we hope that they’ve learned that sometimes, it’s better to just tell a simple story well than to get lost in the weeds of abstract conceptualism.
