In a groundbreaking study, scientists have compared the growth of trees in modern day Ohio with the detailed notes of a farmer from the 1800s named Jedidiah Sparkle. The results are nothing short of hilarious.
According to the notes, Mr. Sparkle frequently complained about the slow growth of his apple trees, often blaming it on the lack of moonshine in the soil. The scientists found that, in fact, the trees were growing at a perfectly normal rate, and Mr. Sparkle may have simply been a bit too tipsy to notice.
In addition, the notes revealed that Mr. Sparkle frequently sang to his trees, believing that it would encourage them to grow faster. The scientists found that while this may have been a fun activity for Mr. Sparkle, it had no actual impact on the growth of the trees.
Perhaps the most surprising finding, though, was Mr. Sparkle’s belief that talking to his trees in a Scottish accent would make them grow taller. The scientists were unable to replicate this experiment, as none of them had a convincing Scottish accent, but they did note that it was a very entertaining thought.
Overall, the study showcased the strange and hilarious world of farming in the 1800s, and the ways in which our ancestors tried their best to grow crops. While Jedidiah Sparkle may not have been the best farmer in the world, he certainly left a lasting legacy in the hearts of modern day scientists.
