In an extreme case of “hot pilgrimage,” a bus carrying devout followers of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to a holy gathering in Spaghetti City found itself in a sticky situation yesterday.
The bus, which had been cruising down the highway with a cargo of 30 faithful meatball worshipers, suddenly hit a low-lying bridge and erupted in flames. Eyewitnesses reported that the passengers were screaming “Oh, saucy heavens!” as they scrambled to escape the inferno.
Unfortunately, the blaze was fueled by the hundreds of jars of spaghetti sauce on board, which rapidly turned the vehicle into a boiling pot of tomatoey regret.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said local fire chief Alfredo Marinara. “The spaghetti sauce was just gushing out of the bus like lava from a volcano. We had to use our hoses to cool down the sauce so it wouldn’t ignite.”
Despite the chaos, there were no serious injuries, and the passengers were able to continue their journey to Spaghetti City with a new appreciation for the importance of checking bridge clearances.
“I thought I was going to be meatballed to death,” joked one of the survivors, Ronny Ravioli. “But it turns out that spaghetti sauce is a pretty effective fire retardant. If only we’d brought some garlic bread, we could have had a real feast!”
Authorities are warning all pasta-loving travelers to stay alert for low-hanging bridges and to always carry a healthy supply of Parmesan cheese. May the spaghetti gods be with you all.
