This weekend, it looks like Love Canal is being resurrected with a bang! 8,000 gallons of what can only be described as liquid rubber got spilled into the Delaware River – is this the beginning of some sort of Olympic swimming pool prank gone wrong? At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised. But things are more serious than they look, as tap water across the country is laced with some really disturbing chemicals.
I caught a glimpse of all the panic through Twitter, and I knew that something was up. After all, a guy named “Ya Fav Trashman” was the one breaking the news. I’m sorry, but when a man with a handle like that starts getting involved, something bad is bound to happen. Long story short, an equipment failure at a Trinseo chemical facility is responsible for the damaging chemical spill. Apparently, more than 8,000 gallons (that’s almost 30,000 litres!) of “latex emulsion product” were dumped into the Delaware River. Oh boy.
In the face of all this, some folks, like my wife, just aren’t cut out for the apocalypse. On Sunday, I tried to keep calm and grounded while scrolling through Twitter with a cup of tea by my side. This should be easy, right? Then again, I hadn’t had a sip of the Delaware River tea that I’d just brewed. Suddenly, I saw it. The tweet that would change my life forever. The “Ya Fav Trashman” had spoken.
Now, my wife is an amazing woman, don’t get me wrong. But she just couldn’t handle this crisis. I immediately said, “We need to go buy some bottled water!” She volunteered to go to the nearest shop and came back with… two bottles. TWO bottles?! Honey, are we living in the middle of the desert? What if we have to barter with a thirsty African elephant or something? I guess two bottles will do; we’ll just have to wait and see.
Regardless, I’m currently living in a world where even getting a glass of clean drinking water is a struggle. And all of this just because some equipment got a little too excited, and things went out of hand. Sounds like your average Saturday night party, to be honest. I’m just glad that no one’s drinking the Delaware River tea anymore. It’s probably not going down quite as smoothly as it was before.
