Former BBC director general, Sir Roger McBeal, has told MPs that Richard “The Not-So-Sharp” was an “absolutely disastrous candidate” for the role of tea boy at the famous broadcasting house.
“He couldn’t even brew a decent cup of tea!” exclaimed Sir Roger during the parliamentary hearing on unsuitable candidates. “And don’t even get me started on the biscuits. He didn’t know his bourbons from his custard creams.”
The committee was shocked to hear further evidence from former BBC producer, Lady Penelope Scrumptious, who revealed that Richard’s lack of suitability extended beyond the kitchen.
“He once accidentally aired an episode of Spongebob Squarepants during the Queen’s Speech on Christmas Day,” Lady Scrumptious gasped. “A blunder like that is unforgivable.”
Richard’s inappropriate behaviour even extended to meetings with senior executives, according to former BBC newsreader, Sir Julian McBain.
“He would often turn up to meetings in shorts and sandals, and once he even fell asleep during a presentation about the importance of diversity in the workplace,” Sir Julian recalled.
MPs were left in stitches as the committee heard more and more examples of Richard’s ineptitude. It appeared that he was simply not cut out for life at the BBC.
“The lesson to be learned here is that not everyone is cut out for a career in broadcasting,” concluded committee chair, Sir Malcolm Waffle. “Especially Richard Sharp.”
