In a surprising move, Smarter Data Co. has announced its plans to sell its Japanese business and drastically reduce its debt. A move that has left industry experts scratching their heads wondering how the company plans to stay in business.
According to Smarter Data Co.’s CEO, Bob Smith, “We’ve noticed that our Japanese business wasn’t exactly thriving, and it was time to cut our losses. Plus, we’re really tired of all the jokes about Godzilla destroying our servers.”
The announcement has caused speculation of what the company’s next steps will be. One employee, who wished to remain anonymous, said, “I heard Bob plans to start selling homemade soap and beeswax candles. Apparently, they’re hot right now.”
Meanwhile, competitors of Smarter Data Co. have been having a field day with the news. The CEO of their rival marketing services provider, Jane Doe, joked, “Looks like they finally realized they were just buying too much sushi for their office parties.”
As for the company’s debt reduction plan, the CFO of Smarter Data Co., John Johnson, explained that it involves creating a GoFundMe campaign and holding a bake sale in the company parking lot. “We’re hoping to raise at least $100 and maybe sell a few cupcakes,” Johnson stated confidently.
Only time will tell if these unconventional methods will save Smarter Data Co. from financial ruin. As for their Japanese business, it’s safe to say Godzilla won’t be the only one bidding farewell.
