Introducing HUMOROUS’s spiritual advice columnist on why we love to keep tabs open and hate the infinite possibilities of the internet
Hey there, my fellow procrastinators! It’s your favorite virtual advisor, Dr. Oatmeal Raisin, here to explore the inner workings of our mind and why we just can’t seem to close those internet tabs.
Firstly, let me just say that we all have a soft spot for tabs. They’re like little bookmarks that we can’t bear to let go of. It’s like saying goodbye to a friend you won’t see for a while. Except, in this case, that friend is Buzzfeed’s ‘Which Disney princess are you?’ quiz.
But why do we feel the need to keep tabs open? Is it FOMO? Is it our constant need for distraction? Or is it simply because Google Chrome makes it too darn easy? My fellow readers, the answer is all of the above.
We’re living in a world where distractions are king, and the internet is our throne. We have endless possibilities at our fingertips, and it’s overwhelming. So instead of dealing with the vastness of the internet, we shrink it down to little bite-sized tabs. We pretend that we’re in control by neatly organizing our tabs, but let’s be real, it’s just organized chaos.
So what can we do to stop this madness? Well, for starters, we could try closing tabs once we’re done with them. Shocking, I know. Or we could limit our time on the internet altogether. But who are we kidding? We both know that’s not going to happen.
In conclusion, my fellow internet addicts, let’s embrace the chaos that is our tab-filled lives. And if someone asks why we have 47 tabs open, just tell them it’s for research purposes.
