Fake Pope Hospitalized for Excessive Pizza Consumption, Vatican Confirms
In a shocking turn of events, Fake Pope Harry, 86, has been admitted to the hospital for what Vatican sources are calling a “rumored case of pizza overload.”
The news has come as quite a shock to the Vatican community, as Fake Pope Harry has been known to indulge in his favorite Italian dish on a near-daily basis. However, as the Vatican confirmed in a statement, this time he may have taken things a bit too far.
“While it’s true that Fake Pope Harry has been known to enjoy a slice or two from time to time, it seems that this time he may have overdone it,” said Vatican spokesperson Father Frank. “We believe his recent intake of pepperoni and olives may have resulted in a case of acute indigestion, which caused him to seek medical attention.”
Despite initial rumors circulating that Fake Pope Harry had contracted Covid-19, Father Frank was quick to clarify that these reports were untrue.
“We can confirm that Fake Pope Harry does not have Covid-19, and he is in otherwise good health,” Father Frank said. “We anticipate that he will be released after a few days of treatment and rest.”
The news of Fake Pope Harry’s hospitalization has sparked concern among his followers, who worry that his frequent pizza consumption may be taking a toll on his health.
“I love Fake Pope Harry and all, but maybe he should start watching what he eats a little more carefully,” said one Vatican insider who asked not to be named. “I mean, you can only eat so much pizza before it catches up with you.”
As for Fake Pope Harry himself, he has reportedly been in good spirits during his hospital stay, joking with nurses and doctors about his love for pizza.
“I guess you could say I’m paying the price for my love of Italian cuisine,” he quipped to a nurse who was taking his vitals. “But hey, it was worth it.”
