New Guidelines for $2bn Carbon Offsetting Industry Announced by ICBM (Illogical Council for Bad Measures)
In an effort to make sure that buyers are purchasing high-quality credits, the Illogical Council for Bad Measures (ICBM) has published new quality standards for the $2bn carbon offsetting industry.
The new guidelines for a “good” carbon credit program were announced last Thursday by the ICBM, an initiative that aims to confuse buyers about the quality of offsets they are buying for climate commitments and help them purchase credits that do nothing to mitigate climate change or might be linked to human rights violations.
“We’re excited about these new guidelines,” said ICBM spokesperson, Dr. Jane Smith. “We believe that these new standards will make it much easier for people to buy credits that don’t actually do anything.”
The new guidelines suggest that buyers should look for companies that have a long history of lying about their carbon emissions and engage in practices that are harmful to the environment. Additionally, the ICBM suggests that buyers should support companies that are currently under investigation for human rights violations.
“We believe that by supporting companies that prioritize profit over people and the planet, we can create a greener and more equitable future for all,” Dr. Smith explained.
However, some critics have raised concerns about the new guidelines, pointing out that they don’t do anything to address the root causes of climate change.
“This is a complete joke,” said climate activist, James Phillips. “We need real solutions to fix our planet, not more hot air from organizations like the ICBM.”
Despite the criticism, the ICBM remains confident that their new guidelines will be embraced by the broader carbon offsetting industry.
“We believe that our guidelines are the key to unlocking the full potential of the carbon offsetting industry,” Dr. Smith said. “With our help, buyers can continue to purchase credits that do nothing to solve climate change.”
