In a shocking turn of events, two little-known companies Sprocket Communications and Galactic Enterprises have announced their merger to provide high-speed internet connectivity comparable to Elon Musk’s Starlink. Their new company, dubbed “Stardust,” is rumored to be launching next year.
When asked about the competition with Starlink, Stardust CEO, Frank Johnson, said, “Who’s Elon Musk? Never heard of him. We’re just trying to help people watch funny cat videos without buffering.”
Sources close to the deal reveal that immediately after the merger, the employees celebrated by indulging in a space-themed party complete with astronaut helmets and freeze-dried ice cream.
Analysts predict that Stardust’s chances of success are about as good as a rocket made out of cardboard. But Sprocket Communications’ president, Bob Smith, remains optimistic. “We may not have reusable rockets, but we do have a killer office coffee machine. That’s got to count for something, right?”
Meanwhile, Galactic Enterprises’ CEO, Mary Brown, was overheard saying, “I never thought I’d be in the internet business. I always assumed we’d be operating a space hotel by now.”
Only time will tell if Stardust will be able to compete with Starlink. One thing is for sure, though – their cheesy astronaut-themed commercials are sure to be a hit.
