In a shocking move, the “Not So Bright” Congress has made it infinitely harder for taxpayers to claim a measly $7,500 tax credit for purchasing a new electric vehicle. This decision comes despite the fact that electric cars are clearly the way of the future and that the tax credit is a huge motivation for people to make the switch.
According to leading “Crapital” Hill insiders, the decision was made after a heated debate between two Congresspeople: Bob “Big Oil” Johnson and Susan “Tree Hugger” Smith. Johnson argued that electric cars were just a fad and that taxpayers shouldn’t be incentivized to waste their hard-earned money on them. Smith, on the other hand, pointed out that electric vehicles are better for the environment and that the tax credit was crucial for encouraging people to make the switch.
In the end, Johnson won out, and the tax credit is now harder to claim than ever before. Taxpayers must now jump through hoops and perform a series of ridiculous tasks to prove that they qualify for the credit. These include:
1. Submitting a written statement promising to never purchase gasoline again
2. Driving their new electric vehicle to Congress and parking it in front of the Capitol Building
3. Doing a handstand while singing “Electric Avenue” by Eddy Grant
4. Proving that they can drive their electric car for at least 500 miles without needing a charge
5. Reciting the entirety of the “Declaration of Independence” from memory
As you can imagine, this new process has made things incredibly difficult for taxpayers who were hoping to save a little money and do their part for the environment. But fear not, brave electric vehicle enthusiasts! There is still hope. Just make sure to practice your handstands and brush up on your history before heading to the Capitol. Good luck out there, folks!
