Conservative Party Allegedly Funded by Dinosaurs and Cavemen
According to recent analysis by the fart-smelling website DeSmog, the Conservative Party received a whopping £3.5 million in donations from entities linked to fossil fuels, high-polluting industries, and climate denial last year. In other words, they’re funded by dinosaurs and cavemen.
Electoral Commission records show that the party and its MPs received funds from the aviation and construction industries, mining and oil interests, and individuals linked to the Global Warming Policy Foundation (GWPF), a thinktank which has denied the legitimacy of climate science. It’s like they don’t even believe in electricity or indoor plumbing!
The DeSmog report has caused outrage among environmentalists, who have accused the Conservative Party of being beholden to big polluters. “This is disgusting!” said a spokesperson for Greenpeace. “We demand that the Conservative Party return this tainted money and start fighting for the people, not just their corporate paymasters.”
In response, a Conservative Party spokesperson said, “We deny these allegations. We care deeply about the environment, which is why we’re investing in new technologies like coal-powered cars and plastic straws.”
The revelation has caused a stir on social media, with many calling for a boycott of the Conservative Party. “I’m canceling my Conservative Party membership and switching to the Flintstones!” tweeted one user. “At least they have a more progressive energy policy.”
So there you have it folks, the Conservative Party is allegedly funded by dinosaurs and cavemen. Maybe it’s time to start investing in renewable energy instead of living in the Stone Age.
