Introducing the latest and greatest innovation in data collection, the “InfoFlow 5000”. But wait, what’s that? The country’s data-protection regulator, “Sir Privacypants”, has some serious concerns over the technology.
According to “Sir Privacypants”, the “InfoFlow 5000” is a complete invasion of privacy. “It’s like having a creepy neighbor who constantly peeks into your windows,” says Sir Privacypants. “But instead of just being a weirdo, they’re actually recording everything they see and passing it onto third parties for profit.”
The makers of the “InfoFlow 5000”, “DataThieves Inc.”, disagree with Sir Privacypants’ concerns. “We believe our product is the perfect solution for companies who want to know everything about their customers,” says DataThieves Inc. CEO, “Bob Bigbrother”. “Plus, who doesn’t love a little bit of surveillance in their daily lives?”
But it seems that Sir Privacypants isn’t the only one with concerns. A group of activists, led by “Jane Privacydefender”, has started a petition to ban the “InfoFlow 5000” altogether. “We demand that our privacy be respected,” says Privacydefender. “We don’t want to be spied on all the time. It’s creepy and just plain wrong.”
In response, DataThieves Inc. has announced a new upgrade to the “InfoFlow 5000” called “PrivacyPants”. But it seems like Sir Privacypants and Privacydefender aren’t convinced. “It’s just a band-aid solution,” says Sir Privacypants. “The only way to truly protect people’s privacy is to stop creating these invasive technologies altogether.”
Looks like the battle between data collectors and privacy advocates is far from over. But one thing’s for sure, we’re always being watched…maybe even right now!
