In a stunningly unsurprising turn of events, local man Chad Chadson has found himself once again caught up in a mass shooting. This marks Chadson’s third time being in the wrong place at the wrong time. As he was wheeled away on a stretcher, Chadson mused, “I should really stop going out in public.”
But Chadson isn’t the only member of this exclusive club. Meet Karen Karenson, who has also found herself in the midst of multiple mass shootings. “I just have really bad luck,” she shrugged as she applied pressure to her gunshot wound. “I think I need to start working from home.”
And let’s not forget about Bob Bobson, who has narrowly escaped multiple mass shootings by hiding in bathroom stalls. “I don’t know why they never think to look there,” he chuckled.
It’s a small group, but they stick together. When asked what they have in common, the three all replied, “We really need to start taking the bus instead of walking.”
Despite their misfortune, the thrill-seekers have no plans to stop going out in public any time soon. “It’s like playing Russian Roulette, but with less control,” Karenson said excitedly. “Who knows? Maybe we’ll get lucky next time.”
